First off, I apologize for not updating in a week, I am just a very busy person nowadays and have a lot of things to do now, which I guess is a good thing, instead of having too much time to be lazy and isolated while being on my computer. A lot of things have changed, almost all for the better, if anything. Since last Tuesday, Ive gone on a tiyul or three to different places, the first being these tiny tunnels that you had to crawl through, from the Bar Kochba revolt, which is basically a failed Jewish revolt against Roman oppression, where the Jews hid in caves when not fighting and lived in them. I love these kind of trips because you actually get to experience physically the same thing the historical subjects experienced, for the most part. I think I pulled some Pelvic muscle when I was crawling through the cave, because my lower torso area on my waist was in pain when I stretched or moved a certain way, but thats all healed now. We then went to some hill that was said to have staged the fight between David and Goliath, which cliche-like and expected, can parallel my own struggles and successes. The view was fabulous, as many of them have been throughout the trip. Looking through the vast valleys and hills, filled with lush vegetation brimming with life and the beauty of nature. It was still difficult to get over Z, but I'm managing to do so ever so slowly. Speaking of that stuff, I have new developments in that same area, but you'll have to wait a bit until I get to the juicy part. That tiyul was good, than a coupla days of the same old same old school days. but not old school days, because this is definitely not old school. its more like suck school. because it sucks. get it? its not THAT bad, but its so tiring and long that you couldn't do this for five days a week, which is why we have so many field trips. Probably. We like to make fun of our incompetent physics teacher, but its a lot easier than at home and i wind up just teaching myself the material alone. APUS is difficult in that we have an essay due every Monday and that I usually dont start until Sunday night, which is primarily my fault for procrastinating. But if you know me at all, you'd know that I am the procrastinators of procrastinators. But I always get it done, and it builds good work ethic and the such, etc, etc. English is a strange thing. Im kind of intimidated in a weird way by the teacher, but sometimes I write the essays really quickly because of my lack of time here on this program that takes place in Israel on a kibbutz near Jerusalem. And Im sucking at the practice AP tests which isnt very good. clearly. and math is easy as pi. HARHARHAR I crack myself up sometimes. anyway, I went to my sisters over friday night and most of Saturday, on a hella expensive taxi ride that wound up being $300. it was worth it though because I got to see my sister and eat some real food and see her dog that they adopted and go on a hike and see cool abandoned Byzantine ruins and visit an awesome lake in the desert and walk through this tiny israeli desert town in bumfuck, Negev. I also got to meet her boyfriend, who is actually really awesome and might come to the Phish concert with my and my sis. But I really enjoyed it and my sister is really great to be around AND she gave me 120 movies on my portable hard drive, which makes up a little for my ipod breaking. but not. because i need my ipod more than I want movies. but they are good movies, frankly. and the taxi ride there wa awesome because we drove all along the dead sea while listening to ABBA, but we had to stop a few times because the driver wasnt sure where he was going. And on the way back we listened to some Beatles which really put me in a nice mood and made me fall asleep about the fifth time Eleanor Rigby was played. But the great thing was that when I came back, several people ran up to me and hugged me saying they missed me, which was a much needed boost in self confidence, and one of those that ran up to me will be discussed in detail later in this post. But after this another painful day of school followed, but today and last night were really great because it was Purim, and in Israel, it is a very widely celebrated holiday. It basically celebrates the Jews' escape from near genocide, but whats funny is that in the story, it says very slyly that 75,000 were killed because of their attempt to try to kill the Jews, which is totally hypocritical and stupid, but I guess a lot of religion is like that sometimes, and we just need to hope that God is on our side. Anyway, I wore my suit with bowtie, ray bans, and a afro pick in my hair, and I must say I looked pretty baller. There was a dance party, which over the course of this trip I have been coming to love, especially when youre with a bunch of white Jews, nobody can really dance so you just flip out and do whatever you want, which is pretty awesome. And it lets you lose your inhibitions or whatnot and makes you feel really stress free. the next day we traveled to a city near Tel Aviv called Holon where there supposedly was some big Purim parade, but all I coudl see in the street was the top half on a giant turtle, and an Obama statue. It was fun running through the packed streets trying to keep up with each other without getting sucked in by the crowd, and at the end we found some not half bad pizza. I was trying to dress as a Deadhead, with my sandals, frayed shorts, grateful dead t shirt, and my picked out fro, which actually recieved many a compliment today. The kids I was with were all really awesome, though sometimes I get annoyed by them, and that doesnt mean THEYRE annoying, it just means that I get annoyed by them, occasionally due to my own faults. Anyway, we went back and had a bunch of free time and just hung out and played pokemon like usual. But I did find out that my english teacher back home has read some of this blog, which pleased me greatly, especially since I had emailed him awhile ago, and wasnt sure if he recieved it, but he did. And he referenced my project from over a month ago, which shows that he really pays attention to his students' work. Hopefully my writing skills are making him proud. And we got this talk by our madrich (counselor) about us guys in our group (our whole school is divided ito three groups, though we are mixed for classes) who were "disrespectful" to the madrichim by being late to things and not listening to them when they talk. Our punishment was rooms in one hour earlier, which doesnt really effect me because I probably would have been in my room anyway, unless something special happened, something that I hope would happen. (Im talking in generic terms here, I'm not referring to a specific event) The madrich that gave us the punishment (which was argued about for a long while) can sometimes be a complete annoyance and bother, but most of the time he's very funny and fun to be with. Anyway, what you've all been waiting to hear this so I might as well start now.
I'll refer to her as F. We are fake married, ever since we really talked when we were in Eilat about solar panels of all things. I must of made a good impression when I faked an obsession over solar panels as she asked me if i wanted to go with her and some others to this kibbutz with the largest solar panel or something along those lines. She's quite attractive,and there are so many good thngs about her that could potentially allow me to forget Z, though she will always have a spot in my mind. Speaking of Z, I found out that she knows that I was into her, thanls to some friends of mine. But I'm not upset really, and she seems to be talking to me more since I found that out, though I dont know when she found out. For some egotistical and stupid reason, I like it when I find out people were talking about me. It makes me feel that I made an impression on another person or two and that I'm worthy of being spoken about. Anyay, back to F. We are in the same math class, and we have begun to sit next to each other, whereas before we sat at opposite ends of the room. And she sat next to me the first day and started this trend, so I hope she is at least in the most minute way interested in me. But for me to believe that, I need to have self-confidence, which I am slowly discovering. Anyway, when i got back from my sister's, she ran up to me and hugged me, and we walked together for about a minute towards my room, which seems insignificant, but to me it means so much more. And that another issue I have. That I take the smallest actions and enlarge it to mean something much bigger than the action itself. And I've been trying to sit with her at meals. And at Holon at the parade, we talked a good amount and she stole my afro pick and still has it, so i hope that means something, though it could just be my magnification problem. but what I found out too is that she asked a friend of mine before to go on a walk to a certain place on the kibbutz, which of course means something big (and thats not magnifying it), but she had to leave, so nothing ever happened, thank God, but I don't know what to make of it. i should just let it pass as she seems to talk to me more than to him. In fact, I've never seen them talk before. And we hung out a lot at the Purim eve dance party and danced together (not a real dance like Back to the future school, but crazy uninhibited dancing). but I also danced with her friend a lot that likes to hold hands with me and at Holon, in front of F, she was definitely, I dont want to say flirting, but something along those lines, but Ive seen her do it with other guys, so I dont take it too seriously, and she already has a husband like I'm married to F. but as this "flirting" was in front of F, I could sense she was a little peeved, which I liked to see , knowing she cares about other girls and me. I think jealousy is cute and reassuring.
Anyway, its gettin' late, the sun is way past set, and all the kinder are deep in REM sleep. I think F could really work out, I really do. Except when it comes to getting physical, I'd have no clue what to do. At all. because, and I'll be honest here and reveal something about myself, I've never done anything of the sort, which is why i often get depressed and develop low conidence when I compare myself to others. But I shouldnt worry about it and shouldnt rush it, or else it wont be real, I need to just let it come naturally. And my roommate said he'd help me, so I have some personal support, in addition to all of you guys whom I hope are rooting for the Max team. Anyway, Mr. Sandman is calling me to bed,so i best be getting on my mery old way. I promise to update more often than this last week. Au revoir! Afeerdezen!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment