The Golden Road

So it comes to this. I actually don't know what that refers to, but whatevs. Today went by all too fast. I can't even remember some of the things that have happened, but I do remember falling asleep, trying to do homework but epically failing at it. I have a history paper I need to write tomorrow. And my English class is so repetitive and I feel like I'm losing my touch at writing. At least I have this outlet to experiment with. I had some kick ass hummus today though, jesus, it was so good. That's a really weird habit I have, saying jesus. Its weird, because it doesnt't really mean anything. Its just a really important guy's name. Or that creep from the Big Lebowski. Or my server at Panera Bread. And everybody threw a shitfit today when they announced that watching a movie was mandatory, because everyone had tons of homework to do, and they eventually recalled that demand. I also worked on my hebrew project with some cool people, but they seem really incapable of organization, so I have to take charge. This happens a lot in school groups. Ugghhh, that word, school. Sends shivers down me spine. And the days here are grueling. GRUELING. Kind of sounds like a type of monster or gargoyle. A grueling lived underneath the bridge and scared passerbys. Something like that. Lately a lot of weird linguistical stuff has been happening that entails me rethinking the definition of a word or phrase, and acting liek I forgot it and was hearing it for the first time and wondering where the hell it came from. And sometimes I can't tell if I made up a phrase or if its a real, usable one. i'm going crazy, I know.

So I've begun to hear stories about various hookups and such, and it seems a bit early, but things happen, and I'm not one to judge. But i've never understood the pleasure of hooking up. Maybe it's because I'm just really socially inept, but I just think of it as unecessary behaviors that have no real backing except physical features. And that too. Aside from the actual act of sex, I don't see any pleasure in anything else like making out or anything. Am I alone in this? Am I just really ignorant because I've never actually known the experience? And the only thing i can think that could be beneficial would be the reputation reassurance it would give the participants. But, and it sounds pretty unmanly (but so do a lot of things I say and do), I seek a more real relationship where the two people actually care about the other person and not the immediate physical pleasures that I still don't understand. Wow, that sounds pretty cheesy. But thats what I believe, so suck it. And I think its funny how two of the closest female friends I have are both in relationships. Maybe that fact makes me more comfortable around them, because I know I don't have that option in the friendship/relationship, which releives a lot of stress I have around single people. But alas, such is my luck.