I really hope today was just a bad day. I really really hope that it doesnt reflect how I will feel for the rest of the program. The first half was exciting and fun with the archeological dig, with me climbing through tiny tunnels and digging for dead goat horns. But it was the second half that caught me at a bad moment, with negative thoughts racing in and out about almost everything, and just seemed to shut me down. I think I know myself well enough to understand that it was just a brief period and doesn't reflect everything else, but I can never be too sure.
It's just the social part, I must not get it or something. I can handle most everything else, the schoolwork and being away from home, but its just that that gets to me. I begin to feel isolated and alone and then I think that I don't have anything to offer to anyone else, and the shit begins. This is pretty personal, but I believe that to accurately document my experience I shouldn't lie about how things are.
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